i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
