Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
