hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
my sisters under your porch take her home
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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