just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
