My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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