butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
