I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
