i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize