Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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