I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
