Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
