just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
