Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
