only you would photoshop your dick
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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