Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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