is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Someone signed my nipple.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
