So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
