I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
