Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
God I need to hump something, right now.
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