He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
they're like a gay fantastic four
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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