You're my little dorito
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
