it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
MIDGETS
????
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
