I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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