Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
