matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize