We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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