Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm too high and old for this...
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
