Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
