you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
