he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
