Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
