True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
The struggles of a small town man whore
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
