last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
