Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
