I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
