Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
