I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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