my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
