Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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