I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Bring me that man meat
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
