we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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