make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
