Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize