I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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