"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
