he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Everything about him screamed your future.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I would fuck him just for his dog
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