remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
