I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
