just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
