Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize