I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
