I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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