u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
