guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize