I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Success! We fucked roommates!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
