I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
