i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
