Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
