Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
