Having a random hookup so left but love u
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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