That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize